I was watching Monk the other day.
If you are unfamiliar with the show, the main charcter, Monk, is a detective who suffers from severe OCD. The upside of his ailment is his “amazing” powers of observation. He notices everything that is out of place.
It isn’t a great show, but it is an amusing one at times.
Anyway, one the side-effects of his OCD is his ever growing list of fears.
The episode I was watching, he was sitting on a road in the country and an army of frogs hops across the road and over his feet.
Monk says, “Frogs. Frogs. Frogs! Frogs!!!”
His assistant, Natalie, says, “Are you afraid of frogs?”
Monk responds, “I don’t know.”
One hops on his shoe and then he says, “YES! Yes, I’m afraid of frogs. Get the list. Get the list.”
See, Monk has so many fears he has them on a list in order of thier hierarchy of fear. Frogs gets put on the list between opossums and soccer mobs.
The scene just made me giggle. Still does.
Then I realized that I have my own list of fears.
Here is C’s list of things I’m afraid of in order of relative scariness.
(You are thinking, where is the fun in this? If you are asking that, you haven’t experienced my fears. People are always laughing at them, so I assume they are funny– at least some of them.)
1. Being Profoundly Alone (not a funny one, the link sure is)
(A few caveats about the link: 1) it isn’t kid safe, 2) I didn’t take this quiz and this doesn’t really relate to me, 3) I just searched for my greatest fear and this popped up… what was I do to?)
2. Dentists
3. Giant Squid
4. Viney Plants (Like this one, or this one, or that one, or any of them really.
5. Goblin Sharks (I just got the heeby jeebies finding that image for the link. Go ahead look at it. Tell me that isn’t the stuff of nightmares. Sheesh!)
6. Actually, I’m afraid of any fish that is bigger than me. (Another great story about that one.)
7. Ants. Not “Ant”, as in one ant. I’m talking antS, as in “OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE FRICKIN’ ANTS!!!” (I blame this one on a movie too. No, not the cheesy one, the truly scary one.)
7.5 June Bugs. Had to add this one when C told me about the BOUSes she saw while on vacation. My mom was terrified of June Bugs and used to tell me horror stories about the creepy things. So– as long as they are on one side of a screen and I on the other, no problem; otherwise, heebie jeebies.
8. Opposums (I just added this one after seeing Monk’s list. I’ve got a horrible oppossum story to justify it, though.)
So there, laugh if you want to.
I’m not afraid of laughter.
Much.
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February 9, 2007 at 11:01 am
Jess
See, it’s not exactly what you’re afraid of that we find funny. It’s the being afraid of things that in real life you are incredibly unlikely to ever encounter in such a way that you would actually be in danger. The situation would have to be incredibly absurd and hilarious for you to be taken down by some ivy or a giant squid, or a goblin shark, or any other fish, or ants, or opossums. I mean, really, picture it. It’s pretty funny. (Well, for those of us who know and love you.
)
And come on, Semantics Man, are you afraid of dentists, or are you afraid of dentistry?
And on any of these, is it really fear or just the heebie jeebies?
I’ll grant you the first one on the list, though. That’s a fear I share.
February 9, 2007 at 11:56 am
lgh
Me, too, on # 1. And a little on dentistry, having been blessed(?) with bad genetics in the toothy realm…
However, C, from # 2 & 4 — I have to wonder if you had an unfortunate experience with the film “Little Shop of Horrors?” (the original with Nicholson, not the cutesy musical)
February 9, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Jess’s Journal » Good on Many Levels
[...] C probably won’t like them, though, ’cause sometimes they resemble giant squid-like creatures. [...]
February 9, 2007 at 2:58 pm
bringingthefun
Jess,
Of course, I know what is funny about them. Though, to be honest, I have actually been taken down by a vine once or twice and I have had first hand experience with sea creatures bigger than me that appeared to be debating my edibility. And the possum? Those ugly undead-looking things can actually kill you. Sure, they are all funny, but they are still dangerous… and they scare me. And as to Dentists or Dentistry? Well, it is both under certain circumstances. If you really want to get technical, I’m afraid of Dentristry and Dental Hygenists. Dentists, not so much. Go figure. And it is fear sometimes and heeby jeebies all the time. Varies with how manly I’m feeling.
L
Actually, it was an unfortunate experience with Day of the Triffids. Horrible, horrible movie. That and Attack of the Mushroom People just creeped me out something fierce as a kid. Same with Phase IV. And squid? Squid I blame on the Discovery channel.
February 9, 2007 at 3:04 pm
lgh
C –
Oh,dear… Iguess that explains the viney fear thing. Though I could also understand an unnatural fear of ice cream trucks after Day of the Triffids! (DH has a collection of cheesy sci-fi flicks. I still think the original Little Shop plant is creepier than the triffids, but that’s me.)
February 9, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Heather
For a complete list of fears, please check out:
http://www.thesunmagazine.org/fears.html
February 9, 2007 at 10:41 pm
the fired one
I am afraid of being fired. And the car blowing up. those are the two big ones, and I get to face the first one right now, all the time. And the car keeps dying, which means that at least it is not blowing up.
the fired one
February 10, 2007 at 10:41 am
j
I am afraid of:
1. Mingling with strangers
2. Poop that is out of place – like poop on the street.
3. Spontaneously vomiting.
February 12, 2007 at 7:26 am
Jen
D and I watch Monk every week
What I loved about that scene was that Monk remained open to the possibility that frogs weren’t on the list. No pre-emptive “I know I’m not going to like it”. That was rather sweet of the writers to do, in my opinion.
May 16, 2007 at 12:21 am
Follow Ups - The Spring 07 Edition « Bringing the Fun
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