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Happy Post Christmas, Dear Readers!

C&C had an interesting time visiting some relatives over the weekend. The kids were mostly cute and the time was mostly relaxed! (I have upgraded the little ones from monsters to brats.)Yay!

Some time in the middle of the afternoon, Dad decided to check on the turkey. It had been thawing in the fridge for the past 4 days. Or, in theory it was thawing…because it was an icy turkey pop when he checked it. (Apparently, someone accidently bumped the temp control in the fridge and set it to “Mr. Freeze.”)
Turkey Pop
Oops.
We began emergency thawing procedures!
Submerged bird in cold water with water running over it.
We managed to shut down my very opinionated and vocal S-I-L who insisted we should run warm water on the thing to thaw it out faster.
Another gift for the holiday….salmonella poisoning!
No.
The bird was getting there, but by the time it would be thawed and cooked–well, let’s just say C&C wanted to get home before 10. (We think in-law time should come in small doses)(VERY small doses.)

So…we began to work on PLAN B

C&C are friends with Plan B.
(Mission Impossible theme song begins to play in their heads)
O.K., what is in the fridge?
Hot dogs. Left over chili S-I-L made yesterday. Pie.
Hmm….neither of us really like chili dogs…(I like DQ chili dogs…)

O.K., what is open that sells groceries?

(This is sad to admit, but we very much knew what was open from last year, when we went on a mad search for stuffing mix. Turns out a chain drug store is open and sells stuffing!)
But you cannot find a thawed turkey at the drug store. (Well, you can, but it is in form of processed, sliced turkey pseudo-meat.)

We did find some Christmas Pizza!

(It being Christmas Pizza of course because, well, we ate it on Christmas)

It was not a particularly enjoyable Christmas feast, but we had food and very few dishes!

This may become a new holiday tradition!
Then again, perhaps we will turn it into a Top Chef challenge. (You have $40 and 2 hours to take items from a convenience store and turn them into a sumptuous holiday feast!)

🙂

Twas the night before Christmas, in the C&C house
All were asleep, ‘cept C’s lovely spouse.

The stockings were hung by the fireplace with care,
though they’d already opened some presents from there.

The Fizzy was nestled all snug on the bed,
(not even trying to eat the hair on C’s head.)

C had awoken from her Christmas Eve sleep,
While the other C tried to stay slumbering deep.

When out our bedroom window there came a sound mighty cool,
C knew she just had to wake up her snorring fool.

“Listen, my sweet; there’s an owl outside,”
and both of them listend with smiles most wide.

For out in the trees they heard the wise bird “who”,
And then, how cool, not just one bird, but two.

One couple conversed, while another lay in bed.
Then C, with a twinkle, very seriously, said

“That’s the Christmas Owl outside our window.”
“The Christmas Owl? How do you know?”

He paused for effect, his eyes all a glow,
“Don’t you hear it calling? Ho Ho. Ho Ho. Ho Ho.

Silence there was. Then giggles and a groan.
“Christmas Owl.” C said in an exasperated tone.

“I can’t believe you said that,” she said
And with a small giggle, she lay down her head.

Outside the window, the Christmas Owls continued their call,
“Ho Ho. Ho Ho. Ho Ho. Merry Christmas to all.”

A Holiday Smorgasbord for you, my loyal reader.

Some jokes, some gift ideas, some trivia, some fun films, and other assorted fun…

Some Christmas riddles (anwers at the end of the post):

Q1: Why did Santa’s toy makers need to see the psychotherapist?

Q2: Which candle burns longer, a green one or a red one?

Q3: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?

Some of our favorite things (on our gift list this year):

Adopt a Dolphin
An Adopted Dolphon from the Pacific Whale Foundation for our nieces.
(It is a Spinner Dolphin named Snowball.)

ornament
A new tree ornament for M1 and M2.
From the interesting folks at Cafe Press.

I’ve got another one or two I’d like to include, but those haven’t been opened yet– and those people read this blog…so you’ll just have to wait.

Some Holiday Trivia about another of our favorite animated specials:
How the Grinch Stole Christmas

1. Who was the voice of the narrator?

2. Who did the voice of the Grinch?

3. What was the man who composed all the music better known for? (more)

4. Who was the voice of Cindi Lou Who? (more)

5. What exactly was the Grinch’s problem anyway? (more)

Fun Films
I haven’t figured out how to embed films into our blog, so you’ll just have to use the portkeys.

Earlier this year, C got me hooked on Scrubs. To thank her, I found this.

Or…if perhaps you’d like to see Christmas though my geek-filter.

And as a special treat, a favorite Christmas special you don’t see any more.

The answers to the riddles:
A1: They had low elf esteem.

A2: Neither. Candles always burn shorter.

A3: Clausetraphobic

C & C love all the old classic Christmas specials.
We know them all by heart. We can recite the lines.
We can sing the songs.
Heck, we can even do the dance steps for some of them.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, we love ’em all. But our favorite, collectively, is
The Year Without a Santa Clause.

We LOVE this animated special.
We love it so much, for a Halloween party one year, we went as the Snow Miser and the Heat Miser.

It was a bittersweet experience.
On the one hand, we did an awesome job. I had a full blue costume, an icy head of hair, a long icicle nose, and a top hat. C looked even better. She had the orange and red clothes, the red nose, and her hair– OH MY STARS– her hair was a sight to behold. We used glitter, red hair color, orange hair color, hair spray, and two flashing red bicycle lights. Imagine, if you can, C’s glorious locks teased straight up, bright red, and flashing with an inner light like a fireplace. AWESOME!

On the other hand, we drove to our good friends’ apartment who were hosting the halloween party, walked in, and…. nobody recognized our costumes. We had memorized the song and dance, we had props, we were ready to rock the house.. and nobody there had ever seen the animated special. (See, our friends, while huge Halloween geeks, were also anti-Christmas to the same level.) It didn’t help that the two of them are expert costume people (guess what he does for a living now). All that work and no payoff. We were crushed.

But, we still have the photos, we still know the songs, and we still LOVE this animated special.

This year, we stumbled across a live-action, modernized version of our beloved special. We watched it with a the same eye-stuck-open fascination one has when one is in a car sliding down a black-ice covered hill into a lightly frozen lake. Don’t want to watch; can’t tear your eyes away. When they got to the Heat Miser and Snow Miser scene, we were shocked out of our paralysis and could make a mad grab for the TV remote. Egads. The horror.

C & C made our costumes out of purchases from Goodwill, St. Vinny’s, and some amateur theatre arts. Trust me when I tell you this. We looked closer to the original characters than these new versions did.

The Real Snow Miser

snow miser

The Real Heat Miser

heat miser

The Pale (no pun intended) Imitations?
[Sorry, no photos available anywhere on the web– wonder why that is…]

Anway, Santa and Mrs. Clause brought C & C an early present this year, which we opened…

Figurines

We are so excited….

Anyone have the office/work mate gift exchange?
I had it fairly easy this year. I only have two co-workers….and I really like both of them!
It is really hard, though, when you just started a job and don’t know people well.

I ended up giving my very health focused office mate some dried cherries, clementines, and a heart shaped windowsill tyme garden. For my other office mate (who likes purple and raved over my pad of multicolor purple post it notes) I got a really nice purple pen, clementines and the aforementioned purple post-its.

So….what did I get this year?

Kleenex in a festive box
A Glade air freshener
Post it notes

That was all from the same person. My other office mate gave me a nice plant.

Is the first one trying to tell me something?

Lock your doors! Guard your families!
Be alert and aware (the world needs more lerts and wares.)

Super Genius, Arch Villian, World Conquerer,
MOJO JOJO
Mojo Jojo
has escapeed.

He’s escaped before…but his bouts of freedom were never long. Eventually, he would turn up and I’d reattach him to his jingly cage with a bolt through his turbanned monkey head.
You see, Mojo Jojo was my keychain
(no, that isn’t me; and no, I don’t know that guy; he just happens to have the same keychain and I thought you might like to see it.)

I’m afraid, this time, he is gone for good.

Which means I need a new keychain.
By tradition, I don’t buy keychains. I wait for the universe to provide one.

My first keychain was a gift from my sister.
It was a beutiful two-tone wooden keychain with a painting of a mallard on it.
(Nope, don’t know why a mallard. Never asked.)
Sorry, no picture of this one.

My second keychain was a gift from a friend.
It was a plastic keychain with a small cartoon guy lounging on it, giving a middle finger salute, and wearing nothing but a grin. It had a cute little saying on it.
(This one actually has a very interesting, funny, embarassing story attached to it. But since he doesn’t read this blog, you ain’t hearing it. Unless of course you bribe the friend that does read the blog and knows that story– and outbid me.)
Sorry, no picture of this one, either.

Wonder what my next keychain will be…

First, some disclaimers.
1) This is not intended to be comprehensive, exhaustive, or objective.
2) Controversy and objections are not only expected, but appreciated.
3) We are trying to Bring the Fun, not Give Offense.

ROUND 1 – Top Rated Custard Shops

Michaels vs. Kopp’s
– We live within walking distance of a Kopps – point to Kopps, sort of
– Both have daily flavors, posted on web and on schedules – tie
– While both serve burgers, Kopps resemble McD’s in appearance and taste. – point Michaels
– Michaels will also gladly serve you Sprecher Root Beer and Deep Fried Cheese Curds – double points to Michaels
– Frozen Custard is made fresh at both, but only tastes that way at one of them – point to Michaels

Winner: Michael’s (4 to 1, and that was without the website or personnell comparisons)

ROUND 2 – Root Beer

This one would seem, on the face of it, to be a shoe-in.
Brewtown has the Sprecher brewery. The 2nd best Root Beer in the world!
Many,many, many restaurants will serve Sprecher’s in Brewtown.
But…
Many do not. And many eateries in Madtown will also serve Sprechers.
And…
Some places in Brewtown list Sprechers on their menu, but actually serve Point Root Beer; and some places in Madtown that do not serve Sprecher Root Beer serve, instead, 1919, the BEST root beer in the world.

Winner: Brewtown (but only by a nudge)

Next time: Lakes, Markets, and Museums – oh, my.

So, I found a little quiz based on Weird Al’s White and Nerdy song.

You are 38% white and nerdy.
How White and Nerdy Are You?

Some how, I thought I would score higher.

In his recent post, Frogs shares with the world his “If I won the Lottery” contingency plan.

If you know me, it will come as no surprise that I, too, have such a plan.
Multiple version of the plan, actually. (It is best to be prepared for these things.)

Being not nearly so ascetic as Frogs, my plan is a little more… shall we say… detailed?

I will share with you now, lucky reader, the first part of my plan.
1) Hire a lawyer to represent me in all relations with the Lottery people, for a percentage of the winnings, the law firm guards my identity.

2) Hire an accountant to track the money for us. C&C are budget impaired.

3) Donate 10% to worthy causes (TBD).

4) Spend 15% on The List*

5) Spend 25% on us**

6) Invest and save the rest.

** C & C would travel more.
C & C would own a motorcyle once more.
C would stop working for others if she didn’t want to.
C & C would build our dream home or homes.

* The List
I’ve had a list of things I want to give friends and family for decades.
A log cabin for my maternal units.
Tuition for one of my oldest friends.
Scholarship funds for each of our auntlets and unclets (official and otherwise).
…and the list goes on… you might just be on it.

(Some day, if you’re curious, I’ll tell you about the rules involved in the Lottery game. You knew there would be rules, right?)

In the interest of full disclosure, I feel I should let you know that I’ve already won the lottery. Yup. I wished on a shooting star that I “win the lottery” and the next day I did. But it was only 4 numbers. I won something like $27. Talk about a failed contingency plan. As a gaming geek, you would think I would have remembered the importance of writing your wishes out first. Sigh.

Do you have a favorite Hanukkah song?
There aren’t many to choose from.

Oh, sure, you have “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.”

but that gets old after a while… a very short while.

finally someone recognized this dearth of festive, fun Hanukkah music

and we got Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song

(possibly the best thing Adam Sandler has ever done)

and now… well, now, I present for your holiday amusement and joy

Latkelicious!

(a spoof of Fergalicious)

HAPPY HANUKKAH!