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I’m feeling more like Monk every day.

I think I have to add a new fear to my list.
Or maybe not.
All depends on categories and semantics and such.

After reading this article, I am adding Collossal Squid to my list of fears.
Of course, I already had Giant Squid on the list.

Is Collossal Squid a new item? Or is it implied by Giant Squid? They aren’t the same thing. (Seriously, that link is not for the faint of heart. The stuff of nightmares, vivid, nasty nightmares…Consider yourself warned.) One is definitely bigger and creepier than the other. And they live in different places. (Yes, it has been pointed out to me that both of these beaked horrors live in places decidedly unfrequented by yours truly. Whatsyerpoint?!?)

This is exactly the kind of conversation I expect the Monk writers to come up with.


M1 (two weeks ago): “Well, if they won’t let you have one kitten and you don’t want two cats and a puppy– why don’t you just get two kittens now and then get rid of one when you get a puppy later.”

M1 does not like cats. Never has, really. (Though she did have a soft spot for one when I was a teenager.) And when I say, “does not like,” I really mean it.

M2 (last night): We are looking forward to seeing the new kitten. We even have presents for her.

Me: (incredulous) You bought presents for her?

M2: Yes, we did.

Me: Mom let you buy presents for the kitten?

M2: It was her idea.

Me: ….

Me: ….

Me: …. It was her idea?

M2: Yup. She even picked ’em out.

Me: Is she there with you in the car?

M2: Yes, she is. Do you want to talk to her?

Me: No, no. I want to talk to you. Just don’t let her know what I’m saying to you. When you get home tonight, I want you to into the basement and look around for pods.

M2: Pods?

Me: Yes. They are usually greenish-brown. Anywhere from 4-6 feet in length.

I was watching Monk the other day.
If you are unfamiliar with the show, the main charcter, Monk, is a detective who suffers from severe OCD. The upside of his ailment is his “amazing” powers of observation. He notices everything that is out of place.
It isn’t a great show, but it is an amusing one at times.

Anyway, one the side-effects of his OCD is his ever growing list of fears.
The episode I was watching, he was sitting on a road in the country and an army of frogs hops across the road and over his feet.

Monk says, “Frogs. Frogs. Frogs! Frogs!!!”

His assistant, Natalie, says, “Are you afraid of frogs?”

Monk responds, “I don’t know.”

One hops on his shoe and then he says, “YES! Yes, I’m afraid of frogs. Get the list. Get the list.”

See, Monk has so many fears he has them on a list in order of thier hierarchy of fear. Frogs gets put on the list between opossums and soccer mobs.

The scene just made me giggle. Still does.

Then I realized that I have my own list of fears.

Here is C’s list of things I’m afraid of in order of relative scariness.
(You are thinking, where is the fun in this? If you are asking that, you haven’t experienced my fears. People are always laughing at them, so I assume they are funny– at least some of them.)

1. Being Profoundly Alone (not a funny one, the link sure is)
(A few caveats about the link: 1) it isn’t kid safe, 2) I didn’t take this quiz and this doesn’t really relate to me, 3) I just searched for my greatest fear and this popped up… what was I do to?)

2. Dentists

3. Giant Squid

4. Viney Plants (Like this one, or this one, or that one, or any of them really.

5. Goblin Sharks (I just got the heeby jeebies finding that image for the link. Go ahead look at it. Tell me that isn’t the stuff of nightmares. Sheesh!)

6. Actually, I’m afraid of any fish that is bigger than me. (Another great story about that one.)

7. Ants. Not “Ant”, as in one ant. I’m talking antS, as in “OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE FRICKIN’ ANTS!!!” (I blame this one on a movie too. No, not the cheesy one, the truly scary one.)

7.5 June Bugs. Had to add this one when C told me about the BOUSes she saw while on vacation. My mom was terrified of June Bugs and used to tell me horror stories about the creepy things. So– as long as they are on one side of a screen and I on the other, no problem; otherwise, heebie jeebies.

8. Opposums (I just added this one after seeing Monk’s list. I’ve got a horrible oppossum story to justify it, though.)

So there, laugh if you want to.
I’m not afraid of laughter.

As of Friday, the Bringin’ the Fun crew has a new addition to the team.

Opal Waving Hello

You may call her Fuzzy Britches.

Her full name is actually much longer and more regal, but this an anonymous space.

(If you’re curious, you figure it out with these links.)

Ain’t she cute!

Is there a better movie than “The Princess Bride“?
I think not.
Romance. Swordplay. Comedy. A Giant. Pirates. ROUSes.
It’s got it all.

There is nothing better than stumbling upon it on the television, even edited, and sitting back to watch it– saying every line as they do.
It is like an old friend.

I love that movie.
It is also one of the movies from which I crib lines on a regular basis.

“Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me summ up.”
“As you wish.”
“Yes, you are very smart. Now shut up.”
(Ok, I don’t get to say that one very much– but I wish I did.)
“Killed by pirates is good.”
(Yeah, that one actually comes up fairly often. Go figure.)

Other movies on my “Old Friends” list:

Cyrano De Bergerac – the 1950 version
The Neverending Story
It’s a Wonderful Life

How about you? What movies are your old friends?