I was watching Monk the other day.
If you are unfamiliar with the show, the main charcter, Monk, is a detective who suffers from severe OCD. The upside of his ailment is his “amazing” powers of observation. He notices everything that is out of place.
It isn’t a great show, but it is an amusing one at times.

Anyway, one the side-effects of his OCD is his ever growing list of fears.
The episode I was watching, he was sitting on a road in the country and an army of frogs hops across the road and over his feet.

Monk says, “Frogs. Frogs. Frogs! Frogs!!!”

His assistant, Natalie, says, “Are you afraid of frogs?”

Monk responds, “I don’t know.”

One hops on his shoe and then he says, “YES! Yes, I’m afraid of frogs. Get the list. Get the list.”

See, Monk has so many fears he has them on a list in order of thier hierarchy of fear. Frogs gets put on the list between opossums and soccer mobs.

The scene just made me giggle. Still does.

Then I realized that I have my own list of fears.

Here is C’s list of things I’m afraid of in order of relative scariness.
(You are thinking, where is the fun in this? If you are asking that, you haven’t experienced my fears. People are always laughing at them, so I assume they are funny– at least some of them.)

1. Being Profoundly Alone (not a funny one, the link sure is)
(A few caveats about the link: 1) it isn’t kid safe, 2) I didn’t take this quiz and this doesn’t really relate to me, 3) I just searched for my greatest fear and this popped up… what was I do to?)

2. Dentists

3. Giant Squid

4. Viney Plants (Like this one, or this one, or that one, or any of them really.

5. Goblin Sharks (I just got the heeby jeebies finding that image for the link. Go ahead look at it. Tell me that isn’t the stuff of nightmares. Sheesh!)

6. Actually, I’m afraid of any fish that is bigger than me. (Another great story about that one.)

7. Ants. Not “Ant”, as in one ant. I’m talking antS, as in “OH MY GOD, LOOK AT ALL THE FRICKIN’ ANTS!!!” (I blame this one on a movie too. No, not the cheesy one, the truly scary one.)

7.5 June Bugs. Had to add this one when C told me about the BOUSes she saw while on vacation. My mom was terrified of June Bugs and used to tell me horror stories about the creepy things. So– as long as they are on one side of a screen and I on the other, no problem; otherwise, heebie jeebies.

8. Opposums (I just added this one after seeing Monk’s list. I’ve got a horrible oppossum story to justify it, though.)

So there, laugh if you want to.
I’m not afraid of laughter.
Much.

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