M1 (two weeks ago): “Well, if they won’t let you have one kitten and you don’t want two cats and a puppy– why don’t you just get two kittens now and then get rid of one when you get a puppy later.”

M1 does not like cats. Never has, really. (Though she did have a soft spot for one when I was a teenager.) And when I say, “does not like,” I really mean it.

M2 (last night): We are looking forward to seeing the new kitten. We even have presents for her.

Me: (incredulous) You bought presents for her?

M2: Yes, we did.

Me: Mom let you buy presents for the kitten?

M2: It was her idea.

Me: ….

Me: ….

Me: …. It was her idea?

M2: Yup. She even picked ’em out.

Me: Is she there with you in the car?

M2: Yes, she is. Do you want to talk to her?

Me: No, no. I want to talk to you. Just don’t let her know what I’m saying to you. When you get home tonight, I want you to into the basement and look around for pods.

M2: Pods?

Me: Yes. They are usually greenish-brown. Anywhere from 4-6 feet in length.

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