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ER Nurse: “Would you like to wait for the doctor to see you or would you like me to torture you for a while myself?”

C & C: “Excuse me?”

ER Nurse: “You can wait for the doctor or I can torture you myself.”

How exactly are you supposed to answer that?

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A couple of weeks ago, we purchased a large treadmill.
The model we have has 8 “programs” that adjust the speed and inclince automatically.
I started on program 1.

It starts out pretty easy. 2 miles per hour. No incline.
I think to my self, “Eh, this is easy.”

Then it increases the incline, nothing major, 2 or 3 degrees.
Then it increases the incline and the speed at the same time.
“Tricky. Didn’t know it could do that.”

5 degrees. 2.5 miles per hour. (about the speed of a lion walking)

“This is getting a little harder.” (Did I mention how out-of-shape I was?)

I’m not worried though. Even with the program running, you can adjust the incline and the speed mannually. If it gets too fast or too steep, I can just hit the big button and it’ll slow down.

Whoa.. 3 miles per hour. “This is no longer walking.
Not running– but not walking. I know walking and this…this isn’t walking.
I can do it…”

(Average cruising speed of a hammer-head shark, in case you were wondering.)

“Wow, look at my heart rate. (Did I mention we have one of those wireless pulse thingies?) Sure is getting high.”

“OH MY GOD!”
It’s going faster. 3.5 miles per hour.
That really isn’t fair.

“I .. wow… I … gosh… I’m losing ground.”

I think… I think… I better… I better turn it down…

“CRAP!”
I’ve detected a flaw in the plan.
Stupid plan.
I can’t reach the button. It’s going to fast.
Gotta go faster… gotta get to the button…..
too fast…
ah…

At this point, I fell off the back of the treadmill.
The magnetic safety key, attached to my shirt, pulled off the treadmill.
The whole thing shut down.

I will never look at a hamster in a wheel the same way again.

I have continued my run as a hamster. I have used the treadmill every 2-3 days. I can now make it through the entire first program without falling off the back or holding on to the side rails. My heart rate is still higher than it should be and I’m way out of breath after a half hour, but I’ve lost 4 pounds and I’m pleased with the progress.

…is proving a lot more difficult than we expected it to be.

C has done her normal stellar job of researching cool places to eat.
C has done his normal task of number crunching and scheduling.

And it isn’t looking good so far.
All of the really good places are 2-4 miles away from the con.
There are only 2-3 places near the con, and only one of those looks interesting.
The con is in the free fare zone, but most of the places we have found are 20 minutes away by transit with mulitple switches.

We aren’t giving up, but I’m not sure if a plan will be out before we arrive on site.

OH– if you are wondering about the ML Tourney, that will be Friday night.
Location to be determined.
Invite only, as usual.

Some follow ups to some past postings.

1) At least four more people have referred to C as “Doctor”. With her promotion, we expect this trend to continue and even increase.

2) C still doesn’t have a keychain. He is sad.

3) Our gnome has lost his horn and has been wearing rabbit ears, pink nose, and cottonball tail for months. We even have a picture. No we haven’t posted it. And by the time we get off our lazy butts and do it, he will have changed his attire again.

4) May is now my least favorite month. The June Bugs are attacking my screens and the Lilacs are blooming absolutely-frickin’-everywhere.

5) Some nimrod broke the treadmill at our apartment center. Work outs stopped. C & C purchased a new treadmill, workouts have resumed. Weight loss has not begun, but we have commitment and hope.

6) Two new favorite commercials. Cingular’s example of foreign language. And the newest Reese’s PB Cup commercial. Simple words on a screen that say, “Ever since Peanut Butter and Chocolate hooked up, Peanut Butter and Jelly still talk, but the relationship is very strained.” Genius. Pure, simple genius.

7) Opal is getting bigger, but is still darn cute. Even when she is a spaz.

8 ) Yau-man lost. I lost my bet. We are very, very unhappy.

9) The girls power? The one that “can stop Sylar?” She can find anyone. And….? That’s it. Just Dawnstar’s power, without the wings and space support. Nothing else. That, my friends, is LAME. Don’t mind the power. Don’t mind the storyline. But selling the little girls as the only way to stop Sylar or the perfect way to stop Sylar is just plain wrong and insulting.

10) Best review of Spiderman 3 I’ve heard yet, courtesy of the GeekLabel guys, [“It doesn’t Suck” is not a compliment.]

In celebration of the impending demise of one of our credit cards, and in order to stem off our eventual demise as long as possible, C & C purchased a deluxe treadmill. We got a good deal on it because some distracted laborer attached a piece backwards. They fixed it, but the piece wasn’t “pretty” anymore. As such, it was marked 40% off. C & C deliberated long and hard about whether or not we could stand having an “unpretty” treadmill. I mean really– we are so stylish, don’t you know.

The treadmill arrived on Monday. I put it together (even though it was supposedly a two person job). That was quite a work out all by itself. Opal was fascinated. C & C, I am happy to report, have been using the treadmill regularly. (No, we aren’t using it as clothes hanger.) I’m even happier to report that I’ve only fallen off of it twice.

Last week, my iPod died. You know, dear fun fans, that I’m horribly addicted to podcasts. Between that addiction and the fact that I use my iPod as my mobile calendar, this was a sad, sad day. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t expect the iPod to last forever. It was an older, used model that Gadget Grrl traded to me for our old kitchen table. (At the time, I thought she was getting the short end of the stick–now, of course, I’ve got a dead iPod and she still has a kitchen table.)

I sent the iPod in to iResQ. Twenty bucks to send it in. They called back and told me it needed a new drive and a new battery. Total damages? $144 OUCH!!! A brand new iPod costs $249. After some discussion, C agreed that it made more sense for me to get a new one.

On Thursday, my new iPod arrived. I opened the box like a kid on Christmas morning. (C was actually surprised at my “calm reserve.”)

It took my breath away.
It has 50% more memory than my old one.
It is 50% the size and weight of my old one.
It is cool black and shiny chrome. It is engraved (free of charge).
And it has a video screen.
IT HAS A VIDEO SCREEN! (The picture quality is better than our television.)

Now I can walk on our new treadmill while listening to my new iPod.

Oh…. it has been a very good week, indeed.

(next month, the iPhone is supposed to go on sale– and if I’m really good and lucky, I’ll be blogging about it shortly thereafter)

Hello, my name is C, and I’m a geek. Unabashedly.

I’m not a nerd. (At least I don’t think I am.)
Though this distinction is debatable (mostly by nerds and geeks and those on the outside.)

What brings this up, you ask?
Well, I was trying out a new podcast, Geekspeak Radio, and I’m torn.

On the positive side, the trio (two guys and a girl) are fun to listen to and talk about some the geeky stuff I like. The show is only a 1/2 hour long, which is a nice length for a podcast. And they have a regular segment called “Two minutes of a girl talking.” which I find quite amusing. (There just isn’t enough girl-geek exposure in the media, I say.)

In season 1, episode 11, the Geek Girl (Linsey) talked about “Why the Ladies Love the Nerds.”

….The term “NERD”, meaning square goes back to at least 1951 when Newsweek reported the usage as relatively new in Detroit, MI…By the 1960s, it took on connotations of bookishnesh as well as social ineptitude. The word itself first appeared in Dr. Seus’ book If I Ran The Zoo, published in 1950, where it simply names one of Dr. Seus’ many comical, imaginary animals. The narrator, Gerald McGrew, claims he would collect “a nerkel, a nerd, and a seersucker, too” for his imaginary zoo. Now dramatic depictions of good nerds typically reveal them to be good hearted people who wish harm on no one but are bullied by their obvious intellectual inferiors. Many nerds in fiction play roles as supporting characters who provide valuable sources of information or useful skills for the heroes; however, nerds as lead characters often have a secredt identity as a super hero. In these cases, the put upon person has a wonderful secret (examples include Peter Parker/Spiderman, Clark Kent/Superman). Now, many nerds are–and this is a new thing–many nerds are proud of the fact that they are nerds. In the 1990s, the word nerd developed a distinct positive connotation within social spheres connecting to computing and the internet to denote with pride a technicallys skilled person. This also extended to financial success in these fields, with Bill Gates himself often described as a nerd, though a remarkably wealthy one….

Her guest girl host (Katy) that day tried to answer the question this way (about why she loves her game geek hubby):

….it gives him something to do while I can go do something else…the other thing I love about nerds is their adorableness. I’m glad you brought of the Dr. Seus thing because I think it gets at that adoration. Women who love nerds and geeks can see their inner–are perceptive to their inner super hero that they are…and women who are not attracted to geeks and nerds, probably don’t see that about them and that is why they aren’t worthy of the nerds…

And how can I not love that? Really.

But, the other ongoing segment is something they call, well, I can’t tell you what they call it, because you have to hear it. Let’s just say, I thought the name of the segment was the “Raistlin Report”. That’s what it sounded like to me. Raistlin. And I thought, “Whoa! These guys are really geeky. A whole report about the wizard from the Dragonlance novels? Seems a little dated. How much can you really say about that character? Well, it may be interesting.”

It wasn’t.

Because it wasn’t the Raistlin Report– it was the Wrasslin‘ Report.
As in Wrestling. WWF and such.
These people are Wrestling Geeks.

My fingers trip over typing those words together. Honestly.

I know that Geekdom is a wide tent, ecompassing many, many subspecies.
You have your Comic Geeks, your Movie Geeks, your TV Geeks, your Super Hero Geeks, your Gamer Geeks (with dozen of sub-subspecies in that category), your Computer Geeks, and I’ve even met a Food Geek.

But Sports Geeks? Aren’t sports and geeks mortal enemies?
And is Professional Wrestling even a sport? And if it isn’t, does that mean it gets free admission to the Geek tent?

I don’t know.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to say that I did watch wrestling as teenager.
But, I grew out of it. And I am really finding it hard to reconcile the ideas of a Geek podcast with a regular Wrestling segment.

Am I overreacting? Am I–horrors of horrors–a Geek Snob?
I don’t know.

C decided to jump on board as well.

(again, no cool graphic. Click the link on the left.)

Her first one wasn’t as accurate, but two picture swaps and it was dead on.

This is really cool. I enjoyed it and unlike most of these things, I think it pegged me dead on.

(as usual, wordpress doesn’t accept most of the code, so you actually have to click the link below to see the cool display.)

Thanks to Earthbound Spirit for bringing it into my attention.

Short Version: Meh.

Medium Version:
C gives it an 8, but he is a supers geek. Some good things, but no great joy.
C gives it a 6, but she loves C anyway. Too much speed, too much people-doing-bad.

Long Version:
C doesn’t like action movies that move so fast that you can’t see what is happening. The “really cool” scenes in Spiderman are great, but they move in that fashion. Hard to watch, and not pleasant. Worse, Peter Parker starts the movie as arrogant ass who is full of himself. C hates that kind of thing. The only thing she hates worse than that is when people betray people. In this movie, Peter betrays MJ. Then MJ betrays Peter. Then Peter REALLY betrays MJ. (C explained that the second time, Peter was under the influence of an evil creepy space thingie. To which C responded, “Doesn’t matter. No excuse.” Icky feelings mean an icky movie.

C has other objections, of a more geeky nature. The biggest problem with this movie?
It forgets the key aspects of who Spiderman is. There are two things you can’t screw up in a Super’s movie if you want to keep C happy.
One, if they have a secret identity, keep it secret. Every DAMN villain in this movie knows who Peter Parker is. He spends half the movie in costume, minus his mask. Drives me nuts. But I am, regrettably, getting used to it. Every hack writer in hollywood does this these days.

Two, get the powers right. (Superman can’t spin the Earth backwards and reverse time.) Spiderman’s greatest power is…. his spider-sense. Spider-sense warns him when he is in danger. It is very well tuned. With it, he can sense ambushes. He can sense blows before they hit. He can sense all things…and get out of the way of them. (Having super-reflexes is very useful if you know WHEN you need to dodge.) [Oddly enough, the Nicholas Cage movie currently out, NEXT, is about a guy with this same ability.] Why is this power so important? Because Spiderman doesn’t have invulnerability or any healing powers. You hit him hard enough, and it really doesn’t have to be that hard, and he is down for the count. Spidey go Splat.

Spiderman’s greatest foes? They usually don’t trigger his spider-sense. That is why they are his worst foes.

Wanna guess how often Spidey uses his spidersense in this movie? Go ahead, I’ll wait.
(Not once that I can tell.)

Wanna guess how often Spidey gets hit, smashed, pummelled, thrown through walls, bashed, or otherwise beaten like a red-headed step-child? Give it a try.
(Can’t tell you. It happens so often, I lost track.)

If he doesn’t have Spider Sense and is nigh invulnerable like Superman, I don’t know what hero he is supposed to be.

So, Meh.

From the latest episode of Medium.
(A vastly underated show. I completely reject the premise, but absolutely love the acting and the stories. The husband character is that rare thing– a realistic man role, well sort of.)
For reasons that will be obvious if you know us, these clips tickled our funny bones.
I don’t think the quotes require context from the story; but if you ask, I’ll provide it.

Husband: “Help me out here. Which…which one of these shirts looks most well-adjusted?”
Wife: “Well, I say that the one on the left looks…uh…a little paranoid to me, and the one the right looks like it has anger issues.”

……………………………

Wife: “So how was therapy? How was the therapist?”
Husband: “He said I was angry.”
Wife: “Oh yeah? What did you make of that?”
Husband: “It pissed me off.”