C & C decided to take in another movie today, The Bourne Ultimatum.

For your fun, dear reader, we present our Top Ten questions about the Bourne Ultimatum.

1. Is medication necessary for this movie? We know epilepsy is not a laughing matter and we would never joke about– but because the camera people didn’t take their seizure medication, we were forced to take our dramamine and aspirin.

2. What exactly is Bourne made of? In one scene, Bourne drives a car that is involved in no fewer than 6 crashes. The car is a mangled wrek. Bourne exits the car with a limp– much like the one C&C had from walking around the State Fair for 3 hours.

3. We know how he broke into the fingerprint, voice activated safe (we saw the Mythbusters do it, so we aren’t impressed). We are mighty curious, however, about this: How did he manage to get into the deepest, darkest bowels of the black ops office of the NSA without being seen or challenged?

4. Have spies never heard of window treatments? Venetian Blinds? A nice set of draperies perhaps? Tinted Window kits are pretty cheap. I could hook ’em up with a guy I know. If I were Bourne, I’d be peepin’ in on them, too. With a good enough telescope he could probably just read the secret files off of their computers or sitting on their desks.

5. When did Nicky become a high level agent of the NSA? Or a computer hacker? Can just anyone with a computer and an N.S.A. I.D. badge send messages to the N.S.A.’s super secret assassin’s personal blackberry? If so, I’ve got a few people I’d like to have him visit as well.

6. Speaking of which… is Jason Bourne a woman? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but all the bad people in these movies are men. All the good, ethical, helpful, smart people are women. I’m not saying this isn’t a reflection of reality, but where does that leave Bourne? Maybe he is just more in touch with his inner woman…

7. What exactly do they mean when they say “lock down that building” or “establish a 1 block perimeter?” I assumed it meant something along the lines of “don’t let anyone in or out of the designated area.” And yet, there are lots of people moving all over the place all the time. “You keep using that word….

8. Spoiler –> Does anyone really think Jason is dead when he falls into the river? Really? Even for a moment? If so, go back to question #2.

9. Why does the assassin agent at the end hesitate? Seriously. I haven’t figured that one out and I don’t want to spend $10 to go watch the flick again. Anybody see the flick who can explain what I missed?

10. If you were talking to a super assassin spy and he was talking you through a dangerous situation, would you say to yourself, “You know, this guy is good– but I think I’m better than he is. I think I’ll just follow my instincts and see where it leads me.”???
Bonus Follow-Up Question: When that didn’t work out so well, would you then say to yourself, “Wow. That really didn’t go as I planned. But, I’ve learned from the situation. I’m smarter now. NOW I know what I’m doing. I don’t need to follow the super assassin spy’s advice THIS time.”??? C called it when she said, “Oooo, a Darwin contender!”
(My favorite scene in the whole movie, by the way.)

Final Thoughts: Actually an enjoyable movie. Ten times more enjoyable if they would just keep the blasted camera still. Frenetic camera work isn’t the “realism” we need in our action flicks.

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