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C&C have once again researched places to eat in our host city. Unlike past years, however, we are only publishing a general list of the places we found that fit our standards (close, reviewed well, good menus, etc.) The times allowed for meals in the schedule is quite short. We suggest people plan accordingly. See you in SLC!

– GA 2009 –
Salt Lake City
Raft Ports o’ Call

Martine
Popular tapas restaurant (North African, Spain, Provence) – Not Veggie Friendly
.2 miles 22 East 100 South 1.5 blocks East
M-Fri 11:30a-10p Sat 5:30p-10:30p Lunch $9-12 Dinner $8-31

Bambara’s
New American bistro with worldly flair, winner of green biz award – veggie doable
.3 miles 202 S. Main 1 block East, 1 block South
M-Sat 11a – 10 p Lunch $10-20 (special $13) Dinner $10-45 (special $30-33)

Siegfried’s Delicatessen

German deli, very popular – NOT VEGGIE FRIENDLY
.3 miles 20 W. 200 South 1 block South, ¾ block East
Mon-Wed 9a-6p Th-Sat 9a-9p $7-11

ACME Burger Company

Gourmet burger joint. – Veggie doable
.4 miles 275 South 200 West Almost 2 blocks South from West Exit
M-Thur 11:30a-9:30p Fri-Sat 11a-10:30p Sun 11a-9p $10-30

Squatter’s Pub and Brewery

Brew pub dedicated to economic, social, and environmental value – veggie friendly
.4 miles 147 West Broadway 2 blocks South (not counting Pierpont), ¾ block West
M-Thur 11a-Midnight F 11a-1a Sat 10:30a-1a Sun 10:30a-Midnight
Weekend Brunch 10:30a-3p $7-25 (daily specials)

Takashi, Sushi

Busy, top-rated sushi restaurant – ?
.5 miles 18 W. Market St. 2.5 blocks South (not counting Pierpont), 1 block East
Lunch: Mon-Fri 11:30a-2p
Dinner: Mon-Thu 5:30p-10p Fri-Sat 5:30p-11p $$$$

Market Street Grill

SLC’s finest seafood restaurant – NOT ONE VEGGIE OPTION
.5 miles 48 West Market Street 2.5 blocks South (not counting Pierpont), ½ block East
M-Thur 6:30a-3p 5p-10p Fri 6:30a-3p 5p-11p Sat 7a-3p Sun 9a-3p
Lunch $10-52 (specials $12-15) Dinner $10-55 (specials $20)

One World, Everybody Eats

No set menu, all-organic, non-profit, everyone eats – Veggie/Vegan friendly
.7 miles 41 South 300 East 4 blocks East, ¾ block North
Daily 11a-8p No set prices, pay what you think is fair free Dal and Rice

The DoDo

Funky, eclectic bistro – veggie friendly
.8 miles Gateway Mall, 152 S. 400 W. 2 blocks West (from West Door), ¼ block South
Lunch 11 a – 3:30 p $7-15 Dinner 5 p – 11 p $10-25

The Wild Grape New West Bistro

Updated western café using local ingredients – veggie friendly
1.0 miles 481 E. South Temple 6 blocks East, 1 block North
Lunch M-F 11a-3p $10-20
Brunch Sat-Sun 9a-3p $10-15 Dinner Fri-Mon 5p-10p $10-30
In-Between 3p-5p Late Night Sat 10p-12 $10-15

Stoneground Restaurant

Family owned, Pizza & Italian, with late night dining (11p) – veggie friendly
1.0 mile 249 East 400 South 3 blocks South, 3 ½ blocks East
M-Sat 11a-11p $7-18
Sun 5p-9p (Sin Sunday – only pizza and salad on menu) $?

Thai Lotus

Family owned, epic menu, highly rated – veggie friendly
1.1 miles 212 East 500 4 blocks South, 3 ¼ block East
Lunch M-F 11a-3p Sat 12:30-3p Dinner M-T 5-9p F-Sat 5-10p
$8-18 (lunch specials $8)

—– Special Treats —–

Les Madelines

French bakery, pastries, sandwiches, salads, soups – veggie doable
1.3 miles 216 E. 500 South 4 blocks South, 3 ¼ block East
M-F 8a-6p Sat 8a-4p $8-15

Fendall’s Ice Cream

Gourmet ice cream, sherbet, gelato, etc. – family owned (not a regular meal place)
1.7 miles 470 South, 700 East
Mon-Fri 9a-6p Sat 9a-4p

C.Kay Cummings Chocolate

Unique hand-made candy creations since 1928.
9.4 miles 2057 East 3300 South
Mon-Fri 9a-6:30p Sat 9:30a-6p

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Don’t worry, the list is shorter than you may expect.
And I will try to make it fun– but no promises.

I. Root Beer served in frosted mug– with ice.
Three times at three separate restaurants in the last month, a server has brought me a cold bottle of root beer with a frosted mug filled with ice. There are three acceptable ways to serve root beer.
1. With a frosted glass or mug.
2. Ice cold without a mug or glass.
3. With a glass of ice.

If you can do 1, you should. It’s a sign of class. It shows you really understand your root beer. If you can do 2, then 1 is unnecessary and 3 is a waste. 3 is a last resort. Iced root beer is like iced beer. It is watered down and is only a good idea when faced with warm root beer. If you have a frosted mug, you don’t need ice.
Cut it out!

II. Tearful Goodbyes containing “Helpful” Insults

Traditionally, when someone is leaving and you won’t see them again or for a great length of time, it is customary to say “Good Bye” or “Good Luck.” If the person leaving was close to you, there may be tears involved in this farewell. If you are saying goodbye, and you are crying, it really ruins the moment if you take this opportunity to offer “constructive criticism.” To the person who through (fake) tears and an (awkward) hug managed to give me the advice that I work on my “light touch”, I thank you for giving me the opportunity to demonstrate how far I’ve come in that dimension. Ten years ago, I’d have called you an asshole and possibly even kicked you in the shin. Goodbye, indeed.

III. Meaningless Threats to Actually Do What You Should Do

If you ask someone to help you deal with a problem you have with another person, that is what is known in the biz as triangulation. Triangulation is cowardly. When I take time to try and get people to meet in person to hash your particular issue out, and people drag their feet and don’t want to talk to the person directly (which we in the biz call “conflict avoidance” or more appropriately “chicken shit high school drama crap”), threatening to “talk to the person yourself” is not going to motivate me to move faster on behalf. As a matter of fact– I’m gonna chalk it up in the win/win category. All except your whining, moaning, complaining, and questioning of my effectiveness or engagement. Those are, oddly enough, still a “loss” thing for me.

There are more, of course, but those will do for now.
Carry on.

1. Stick to the process. Stick to the time-line.
(Acting a month or two ahead of everyone else will not get you ahead in this game. It will only annoy everyone else. C and C specifically.)

2. Read the frackin’ manual.
(All of it. All of you. Twice, please. At least. Maybe use a highlighter.)

3. Have someone edit your record before you post it.
(One typo is expected; four, acceptable; twenty, moronic.)

4. Boundaries, people… remember the importance of boundaries.
(If you’re BFP retired, they shouldn’t be teaching classes, serving on committees, working with you on your process, or planning to stick around for the new person you are hoping to hire.)

5. Get someone professional or professional-grade to do your packet.
(And for the love of green, pay attention to white space. 210 pages with blank backs is just plain off-putting. And you don’t need a page for each Board member’s 1 paragraph bio. Actually, you don’t even need Board member bios.)

6. Cool logos and symbols and themes are good.
(Using the Association’s “official travesty logo” on every page as a shadowy watermark does not in anyway constitute “good”.)

7. Traditionally, one interviews someone before inviting them to visit on your dime. (See #1 above.)

8. Oh, and by the way, if you expect a packet from someone and it doesn’t arrive– 10 days is a really frackin’ long time to wait before letting them know the package didn’t arrive as planned. (No, I’m not bitter at all. I don’t even really like mini-golf. Not really.)

9. Invitations to visit should include C AND C.
(We are a team. We travel together. No splitting up the act. We are both a lot less fun apart than we are together.)

10. Invitations to visit should include an offer to pay for said visit.
(Invitations without such an offer are empty, crude, and insulting. Like asking someone to dinner and then letting them know it is dutch.)

11. C is interviewing for a position. C is the spartner. You get to meet both, but interview only one. (Choose carefully. If I were you, I’d choose C. C is out of your league and would eat you up alive in an interview. Plus, you can’t afford her. Really. Trust me.)

12. Along the lines of #7. Traditionally, before you commit to flying two folks across the country for an interview, you should really call and talk to the listed references. (Maybe at least one… I’m just saying.)

13. Have a plan. An itinerary. A schedule. ANYTHING!!!
(And, if possible, if it isn’t too much to ask, please share the blasted schedule with us before we arrive. Thank you.)

14. Little things make a big difference. (A phone call when we arrive. A gift basket in our room. Offering to pay for C’s lunch. Whatever… we notice these things.)

15. Quit putting crazy people with no social skills on your committees.
(Really. We’re serious about this. It is really starting to freak us out.)

16. There are certain subjects/topics of conversation that are best left unsaid during the whole process. (How many bodies have been found in the local park lake? How big is the alligator that lives in said lake? Anything involving sex, sexual positions, propositions, prostitutes, strip clubs– need we continue?)

C and C celebrate Boxing Day.
Not in the traditional sense, of course. We celebrate it in our own fashion.

Christmas Eve Day – I work. Vocational hazard, really. (This year we did spend it with a friend who also shares the vocation.)
Christmas Day – We visit with family, if they aren’t elsewhere. (Spent it with C’s dad this year.)
Boxing Day – Our day. No work. No family. No friends. Just us. Our main Boxing Day tradition is this: no leaving the house and as little work as possible. It is a day to spoil ourselves and luxuriate in each other’s company.

Highlights of this year’s Boxing Day:

1. A crackling fire in the fireplace.

2. An in-house visit from our favorite masseuse (I managed to keep the identity of our visiting masseuse a surprise until she was at our front door. Yay, me!) Two ~80 minute massages in front of the aforementioned fire.

3. An apartment filled with the most delightful smells: scotch pine Christmas Tree, burning oak, minty massage oil, baked egg dish, and monkey bread.

4. Brunch (baked egg dish and monkey bread, fresh from the oven.)

5. A long afternoon nap. (on freshly cleaned, flannel sheets.)

6. An exchange of presents. (more on those below)

7. A Peasant Plate dinner of three platters.
Fruit – honey crisp apple slices, organic plump grapes, sweet pears, roasted walnuts, kalamata olives
Bread – caraway rye bread, sourdough white bread, garlic flat crackers, butter, and cranberry honey
Meat and Cheese – turkey breast, summer sausage, marinated skirt steak, medium cheddar, Irish swiss, Casablanca goat gouda, Knight Veil aged brick, and butterkase.
(served by candlelight with a delightfully sweet champagne)

8. A time to reflect on the past year and recommit ourselves to each other and the adventures of the new year.

Presents–
I gave C a Storypeople ornament.
It says, “In those days we finally we chose to walk like giants and hold the worlds in our arms grown strong with love and there may be many things we forget in the days to come, but this will not be one of them.”

In her usual gift-giving exceptionalism, C gave me a print of two labradors in a canoe and a homemade collage of a chalice with the following hand-written along the edges, “Speak Truth. Weave Connections. Stir Spirits. Bring Laughter. Bestow Hope. Light Darkness. Witness Grieving. Heal Hearts.” It is gorgeous.

I don’t remember the last time I wept when opening a present.
It’s been a hard year.
C’s greatest gift, other than her constant support and presence by my side, is this reminder of who I really am.

Happy Boxing Day, everyone.
I hope yours was as fun and filled with as many blessings as ours was.
(If not, feel free to start your own tradition next year. We highly recommend it.)

Feel free to share the highlights of your holidays with us.

C and C hope you are all having too good this holiday to be looking at blogs– but for those who came seeking a brief e-interlude to the holiday festivities, we present you with the following Christmas cheer.


C and C discovered this a few days ago. We laughed our heads off. If you’ve never seen the Queen video, it won’t be as funny to you. (If you don’t watch it till the end, not mentioning any names–Z, well, don’t blame us for missing the finale.)


One for the geeks out there. Again, if you aren’t into Batman, this one might not be your cup of cheer.

And last, but not least,
our favorite offering from Storypeople, a “Successful Holiday”.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
Thank you for giving the greatest gift of all,
your friendship.

C and C

C&C have been busy. We’ve also been sucked into the world of Facebook. Hence, no new posts for a while. Today, we’d thought we’d bring something from Facebook to our blog. One of the most recent memes on FB has been “16 things” where you write 16 things about yourself. The idea is to put some on there that people wouldn’t already know. Both C and C did this on FB.

Here we present our shared list.
16 things about C & C.

1. We both like job interviews. (We’re very good at them, so that might explain it. Or maybe we’re very good at them because we like ’em.)

2. We were both born in America’s Dairyland. (Cheeseheads by birthright.)

3. We both love holidays. (This has dimmed somewhat these past few years, but we hold out hope that this fire will be rekindled as our lives get less limbo-like.)

4. C & C are both organizationally challenged. (To be fair, C’s desk at work is neat as a pin. C’s is a disaster area in need of a purging not unlike the vast fires that used to sweep across the American plains.)

5. C & C are apple folks. (Both the fruit and the computers.)

6. C & C have been in two weddings together. (Yes, I’m counting ours as one of them. Of the two, our wedding was 100x more fun.)

7. C & C celebrate Boxing Day. (It is a day dedicated to being with one another. We do not leave the house. We do not answer the phone. We pamper ourselves. No work. No family. No friends. Just us. It is a glorious day.)

8. Both of us have a thing for teddy bears. (and, apparently, rubber duckies.)

9. Both C and C realized they wanted to marry this person when they were in Door County, WI. (Different moments, but same weekend.)

10. C & C both have been known to write poetry. (C’s is better, though.)

11. C & C do not like dark chocolate, liver, brussels sprouts, or cigarette smoke. (Together we aren’t as fussy as people seem to make us out to be. Or, I guess, if you added in all of our individual dislikes… never mind. Forget I said anything.)

12. C & C prefer feather pillows. (Lots of them. No, really, more than that…)

13. C & C think the first snow fall is special. If we are apart when it happens, we call each other to make sure we both see it. (If we are together for the first snow fall, we go out and dance in it.)

14. C & C are sneaky elves. We’ve put up a Christmas tree in the backyard of the ‘rents at 2 am. We’ve built a snowamn on a friend’s front porch. And we’ve done other things we haven’t even been suspected of yet. (Tee Hee.)

15. C & C have delicate constitutions. (Sad, but true. We also can’t hold our liquor.)

16. C & C have very high standards for friends. (Surprisingly, we’ve met a lot of people who live up to those standards. We are constantly amazed by this.)

Earthbound Spirit put this meme on her blog and we thought we’d give it a try.
(Hey, if you are going to be absent from your blog for….holy crap we haven’t posted in almost three months…sorry about that, folks…we just haven’t had a lot of fun to share…anyway, where was I…oh yeah, when you’ve been out of the game for a while, it is best to start with something simple.)

C is in Blue. C is in Red. If we’ve both done it, it is in Purple.
(Clever,no?)
Feel free to participate by copying the list and bolding the ones you’ve done.

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars (only if a skylight counts)
3. Played in a band (do kazoos count?)
4. Visited Hawaii (twice, together)
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world (twice each, but not together)
8. Climbed a mountain (drove over one…)
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightning at sea (watched lightning on the ocean, but not from it)
14. Taught myself an art from scratch (origami, poetry, cooking, storytelling, take your pick)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning (together and separate)
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables (I helped my mom with her garden…sort of… when she made me)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight (Ahhh… Betsy and George, how I miss you.)
22. Hitchhiked (boy were my parents ticked)
23. Taken a sick day when not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (I ate one, does that count?)
26. Gone skinny dipping (Together, too!)
27. Run a marathon (we’ve attended a couple, does that count)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse (Ahhhh… my eyes.!)
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (Now I know you are kidding…)
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise (sure, a sailboat in DC, a dolphin boat and a snorkeling catamaran in Hawaii, do they count?)
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors (how far back are you going with this?)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language (we both suck at languages)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (we could always use more, but we’re truly satisfied with being with each other)
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person (sure are a lot of questions that assume we’ve been to France. Didn’t we answer that already? The Leaning Tower isn’t in France…)
39. Gone rock climbing (DC, fun. Hawaii, not so fun.)
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (Again with the damn French questions….)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (but not together…)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater (Again, not together…shame that.)
55. Been in a movie (I was supposed to be, but got cut. We might be, we’ve got connections.)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business (Does Mary Kaye count? No.)
58. Taken a martial arts class (Once again, not together.)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen (helped make sandwiches for one though…)
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching (Saw a bunch, too, thanks to pal, Tom.)
63. Gotten flowers for no reason (Well, not for no reason… I loves her, you see.)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma (I’m not allowed to.)
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check (Sadly, we’ve bounced more than one…)
68. Flown in a helicopter (Part of our wedding gift money…)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar (We both think it is repulsive.)
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job (Had to bring that up? Sadist.)
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London
77. Broken a bone (knocking on wood)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (Oh yeah! Those were the days. One of these days, we’ll ride again…)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (unless this thrice-damned packet counts)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car (do we look like suckers?)
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. >Had chickenpox (I don’t know..)
89. Saved someone’s life (more than one…)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous (Shirley Manson, Winston Marsalis, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Nichelle Nichols, Chewbacca; we also know someone who had a hand in making 3:10 to Yuma)
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (We gave ’em back.)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee (Am I the only one that thinks it is weird that some people HAVEN’T been stung by a bee?)
100. Ridden an elephant> (I rode a camel…does that count?)

Before the latest episode of Bionic Chicken:

L.A. is using goats to clear areas of brush.
The goats are cheaper and more effective than human laborers.
Also, “Look, Goats!” is just fun to say.
Much funner than, “Look, sweaty dudes.”
We made a list of co-workers we wish were replaced by animals
We wisely deleted it.

I started making a list of what animals my co-workers most reminded me of.
It was harder than I thought it would be.
And not much fun.
I deleted the list.

(the quote was funnier than the episode)

C&C were travelin’ around the southwest earlier this month.
I had started an in-depth, day by day, travelogue– when it occurred to me– that it was the equivalent of making people come over and look at your vacation slide show.
Decidedly un-fun.

So… here are the highlights and lessons from our walkabout.

• A good friend is one who will drive you and your stuff to the airport.
(A great friend will pick you up and then serve en-route snacks and beverages.)

• A good host will serve a good meal or two while you are there.
(A awesome host will bake pastries in the morning so you wake up to yumminess.)

Warhammer Quest is fun when played in NM.
(After some discussion, we’ve decided that NM does not count as a stop on the WHQ World Tour. Since it counts as home base for half our party, it doesn’t count as a tour stop.)

• You know it is a good restaurant when everyone enjoys what they ordered.
(You know you are dining with good friends when everyone shares what they ordered.)

• Santa Fe is cool.
(Friends who drive to Santa Fe to “exchange” us host-to-host are cooler.)

Restaurants that are also bakeries do not always have the best desserts.
(But the sandwiches and the pizzas were deeeeelicious.)

• The Moon Rabbit is a toy store run by really nice, friendly folks.
(Zombie Flux is a cool game. Less with the backstabbing and friend-eating–see Zombies.)

• The Chuck Jones Studio Gallery is my new favorite gallery.
(I’m adding the Sorcerer’s Apprentice print to my b-day list.)

• The Santa Fe Cathedral is worth visiting and is very awe-inspiring.
(At the very least, the statue of a winged St. Francis dancing has to be seen.)

• Again with the friends cooking us breakfast. How did we ever get such good friends?

Bandelier National Monument is very cool. We did not climb the ladders or tour the caves.
(Don’t miss the nature trail. We saw prairie lizards, mountain skinks, a garter snake, and a pocket gopher.)

• Visiting the White Rock overlook is a good idea.
(Stopping at the grocery store and picking up stuff for a picnic lunch at the overlook is absolutely brilliant.)

• Back to Santa Fe for another host-to-host exchange.
(The best brisket we’ve ever had was at the restaurant where we met. Yummy. The Tres Leche cake is also amazing and unique.)

More WHQ. More games. More good food and good friends.

Zombies is not a bad game.
(Unless you don’t like games where you stab your friends in the back, mess with them, and generally win by successfully feeding them to the zombies. For the record, C does not like those kinds of games.)

More bakery to greet us in the morning.

• The Wildlife West Nature Park was the best $7 (per person) we’ve ever spent. The park only takes in animals native to the southwest that are unable to be released to the wild. Some are injured, but most are victims of being illegally kept as pets or imprinted to the point where they can’t fend for themselves.
** I can tell you how many front teeth an elk has, and what their breath smell like.
** Bears eat a lot and they get very itchy when it starts to rain on them.
** Gray foxes smell almost as bad as skunks, but are way cuter.
** Mountain Lions are really fast and sneaky and their teeth are HUGE.
** One of the mountain lions has a crush on our friend.
** If you go, try to be at the mountain lions at 1:30 when the handler goes in and “plays” with them. (We missed that. Maybe next time.)
** If you are smart enough to bring your camera, and smart enough to put the camera strap around your wrist, do not bump the battery compartment latch while leaning over the animal enclosure. (When we get the pictures, we’ll try to post them.)

• Being on a television set is very cool. Watching them film a television show is interesting/boring depending on your point of view.

Geocaching looks like it might be fun.
(I’m adding a mobile gps unit to my b-day list.)

• Pizza on the grill is yummylicious.
(Grilled pizza on the deck of a friend’s house watching the sun set on the mountains is…priceless.)

Hey, look, more WHQ. (We’re told they haven’t put the game away yet. They’re waiting for us to come back. Awwww… that’s sweet.)

And now we’re back.
And the biggest highlight of the whole trip:
being cared for and pampered by such good friends.

It is better than we deserve and more than we could have hoped for.
And we’re going to go back.

1. Getting a haircut.

2. Waiting at the airport.

3. Going to work early.

4. Attending a wedding reception for people you don’t know.

5. Reading the Dictionary.

6. Baby sitting.

7. Doing any household chore with the ‘rents.

8. Catching a gourd.

9. Watching the Lawrence Welk show or Hee Haw.

10. Searching for geckos (actually, they’re prairie lizards…)

(We came up with quite a few things to put on this list–but we didn’t want to be mean. It wasn’t a bad movie. It just wasn’t a good movie. It was, however, the worst movie we’ve seen this summer. C did go see Wanted earlier and that was pretty bad– but it had some entertaining moments. Some. This one was just a waste of time and film. We can’t even muster up the energy or passion to list the things that were wrong with it…)