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7:50 am – Wake up. Is it time? I think its time. Sure seems like it should be time. FINE. I’m going back to sleep.

8:00 am – IT’S TIME! I hear it, I hear it, I hear it! Run, run, run! The food machine is whirring. The food is hitting the dish. A delightful noise of kitty kibble on a plastic drum. I’m soooo hungry.

8:02 am – Is that it? Again. But I’m still hungry. MORE!!! I know you’ve got it, I can see it through the clear jug thingie! Excellent….

8:15 am – Time for laps. Top of the couch. Patio door. Top of the chair. Under the table. Again. Again, faster this time. What, no applause. Sigh.

8:20 am – Time to get up, maternal unit. Pet me. Yes… right there. A little to the right. Purrrrrrrrrrrr.

8:25 am – Purrrrrrrrr…. hmmm, what? But I’m not done yet. Back of, paternal unit!

9:00 am – Everybody’s up. Busy, busy, busy. What about me? Hello…. Play with me. Paternal Unit… please. Please play with me.

9:01 am – Hand under the sheet…. I’ve got you now. I LOVE THIS GAME!!!

9:07 am – Done now. Love you, bye bye.

9:15 am – Oooooo. Soft blue maternal terry cloth covering thingie.

9:20 am –

9:21 am – HEY! Maternal unit, bring that back. I wasn’t done with that… Damn it.

10:00 am – Time to lay down by the warm thingie. I LOVE the new warm thingie. Hope they don’t move it away from the patio window again.

10:00 am – Damn it. Paternal unit did that thing to the warm thingie again. What did he do? Did he push this thing? Or was it this thing? Maybe it was this thing… Come on, warm thingie, get warmer for me. Please… Maybe if I rub against it and purr invitingly…
OUCH. Not that close. I will lay right here by it.

1:00 pm – Food Thingie? Yes… Oh, bummer. Such a small amount. I’m starving here. Just because I made you give me food before doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give me some now. I don’t care what the paternal unit says. Don’t make me hit you again.

3:00 pm – Time to tour the top places. Kitchen table? check. Kitchen counters? check. Corner table? check. Bathroom counter? check. Top of of the china cabinet? Nope, still can’t get there. Next time, I’m sure of it. Gnome cave? Not even on my best day.

3:30 pm – Day’s almost over. What else was I going to do today? Oh, yeah– knock off the light switch thingie. The paternal unit loves that game. Make faces at the stupid squirrel. check. Dance with the purple mouse. check.

6:00 pm – Maternal Unit is home! Run, run, run to the door! Whoa… can’t look too needy. Better stop right here. When she sees me….walk away, walk away, walk away. No big deal.

7:00 pm – FOOD!!! I’m wasting away here… better give me a lot, food thingie. Food, food, food. Glorious, wonderful, crunchy food. Wow, I love food. I could eat this stuff all…. That’s it? You stupid stingy greedy mean food thingie.

8:00 pm – Play time, maternal unit. Put the ugly warm light box down. Ribbon time. Make the ribbon zig and zag. OH, I’m gonna get it.

9:00 pm – Paternal unit is home! Quick, run, run, run to the door. Oh crap, they saw me. Lay down. Act natural. No big deal. What, were you gone?

10:00 pm – Maternal unit is going to bed. Paternal unit is staying in the chair. Shall I go here? Or here? In the bedroom? Or in the living room? Plenty of good reasons to stay up… But it has been a long day…. ON the bed? On the chair? Hey.. what– quit pushing. Why are you closing the bedroom door. Fine, I was going to stay up anyway. No big deal.
I’ll just be over here on the couch. Don’t mind me.

??:?? am – Huh… what? Hello, paternal unit. What… what’s up..? Hmmm… time for bed. Ok. Thanks for carrying me to bed. I’ll just be over here the maternal unit. Sleep well. See you in the…..


Last night, Opal made a friend.

She was chasing one of those annoying Asian beetles.
At one point, the clumsy thing flew a little too low and Opal batted it out of the air.
The beetle landed in a small, previously unnoticed spider web.

Opal walked over. She cocked her head.
The beetle was obviously struggling, but it was sitting in mid air.
Then, a little tiny spider came zooming out along the web.
Opal pointed her nose forward. (Opal attacks spiders, too. Bugs are bugs, you know.)
The spider jumped on the beetle, wrapped it up, and (I assume) bit it.
The beetle stopped struggling and the spider moved to the top of the web.
Opal looked at the beetle. She looked at the spider.
She reached out with one paw, then put it back down.
Then she looked at me, and seemed to cock an eyebrow.

I said, “Your call, Opes.”

She looked back at the spider.
Then she wandered off.

The spider is still there. Opal has decided to leave it be.
Apparently, Opal and Ms. Spider are friends… or allies… or I don’t know.

(No, I’m not making this up. Not even a little bit. I kid you not.)